Whoops?!

i received a forwarded text msg today saying:

"D biggest lie is - When i get what i want, I will be Happy - All things have a replacement.. So when you get something you want, you loose something you need."

It kind of a bit hit me bullseye. Monday midnight i did something i don't know if i'm happy about or not. i was just contemplating about it. yesterday when i got home at 7am i was too tired to even remember what happened. i slept all day yesterday. even forgot to do my errands. i mean, i'm not violating any rules. i believe i chose it and wanted it. then why am i not happy? i don't feel less, i just feel nothing. there was this "want" but when i finally got it i felt nothing. i don't feel any remorse over it, it just amazes me how i feel totally numb about it. guess it's because i know what i need now? i am more self-aware. then why did i do it? i wasn't trying to be some wild-child. i didn't need to. there's no one to rebel to. isn't there? or...was i?

a funny thing happened to me this midnight. t'was about 12am. i was smoking right outside the office, with no company, when suddenly this man came up to me and said.. "kapatid ka ba ni Bianca?" i said, "no," obviously because i have no sister. and he was like.. "oh sorry! kala ko kapatid mo si Bianca, nanjan din kase sister nya e.. CustCare ka ba?" i replied, "Yea, and ikaw tech?" i can tell by how faded his ID necklace is - hehe. he replied with a little confusion "Ah, Tech?" i said "No, i mean ikaw ba tech?" he said ""yes."then after a few awkward seconds, "sorry napahiya pa tuloy ako" i replied "gago, K lang yun (chuckle)"struggling on a thing to say, i asked him who BIanca is, he told me a surename of Comolo i believe - well at least that's what i heard, and i was like OK. he said he just heard her sister works there but he doesn't really know her personally. then he stomped on his cigarette and said goodbye. **ssheeesshh**

today Bryan dropped by my post, he saw the picture on my post. 'told him that's my boyfriend but once he realizes that he's my boyfriend we'll probably break up. hahahaha! he asked where JK is, i said uhm...went to find another girl. He also told me he met Jane outside the building, and i was like "Friends kayo?" hahahah! damn my mouth couldn't hush-hush. he was like.. "What do you know?! i said nothing, ask your girlfriend. hahahahah! I was dropping some hint. i don't know if he gets it. Maybe he does.