skipping november 20th

November 20, 2006 is the day i don't want to remember. i was soaked in my own tears. i was miserable. i felt so helpless. i wanted to die! if only i didn't believe in hell... i never want to feel that way anymore. I WILL NOT FEEL THAT WAY ANYMORE>

it's time to put the safety jacket on when it comes to the matter of the 5-letter word. i won't give in. i won't go out and be promiscous like what happened last year. because i'm worth more than that. i'm worth more than the girl that a certain person easily threw away when he found me worthless. it's time to love myself now. i will never be kind again.

yesterday was also tragic because Angel had a miscarriage. i was just totally dumbfounded. i was not the only one sufferring that day. she feels horrible. she's so depress. she didn't report to work last night i learned. and to think that i pushed her to drink alcohol a couple of weeks ago when we went o her condo. i feel it's partly my fault. so sad. Angel is such a sensitive emotional lady. i can just imagine how she's feeling at this very moment. it's devastating. the father of the late baby is where? GONE. he only comes to her for mealticket. what a jerk. i don't know how girls fall for those types of guys.

ugh. terrible terrible day.