BLOG: RE-OPENED

Yesterday, i couldn't stop writing. there are only about eight pages left now of this big black notebook. i guess it's time to buy a new one. and yes! i'm writing this on a notebook and i'm transferring it to my blog which i re-opened because no one's going to go against my train of thought now. hehe. so it's public again. BAH. let me just warn you though that this first post from my hiatus will be long. evidently to catch up for the things i missed to express.

First.
i am now taking calls in DELL Customer Care.

the first day was last week, Nov. 7, 2006. it was a horrible day for us. our team is called Yeye's Tagteam. Soon i'll post a picture here. During the first day, everyone was freaking out, man! the pressure was sky-high. imagine we're Batch 1 of Dell's first non-outsource center in the Philippines. we all thought there'd be only about 3-5 calls a day... we thought wrong. had about 13 calls in 4 hours. and they were long calls! we were like guinea pigs in a cage. change happens in a split of a second. now things are a bit easier. but there are still plenty of things to learn. it's NOSEBLLED.

Second.
i may have cancer

i hate to burst your bubble but i'm not dying. hehe. the doctor's first diagnosis was Nasopharyngeal cancer. the biopsies made behind my nose did not show signs of cells of this type of cancer. my doctor i guess will ask another pathologist to test it. now the biopsy done on my portruding lymphnode at the right side of my neck showed signs of reactive lymphadenopathy: it's a condition in which there is enlargement of the lymph nodes in response to infections. The condition may affect one or a few lymph nodes, or may affect all the lymph nodes. If it's painful, it's a chronic infection and once it's not, it's caused by cancer. MINE IS PAINLESS. this saturday i'm going to undergo another biosy. this time it's incision biopsy. the doctor is going to take a mass os sample from my lymphnodes. that will bleed and that will be painful. Chanel volunteered that she go with me, but she found out she has a class that time, so i would have to go alone. i haven't told any of my relatives about my situation just yet because i know they'll freak out! especially my mother. once when i was about 9 years old, i developed this infection which caused a bump on top of my head. it was supposed to be painful i think. knowing that i was only 9 and i was SUCH a crybaby (ask my mother, she never fails to mention that to other people when i'm around, ugh) but then at the time the doctor was incising the skin on my head, i never cried. my mother said to me rightafter---"you're a brave girl." it kinda' stuck to me. so now i'm not afraid to go through incision, i'm a brave girl.

Third.
the jk-chaii is over.

yes. we're over. we're done. so i'm VERY single. what happened, you ask? well he's not cut for the "true love conquers all" cliche. the long distance setup kills him. i calle dhim last tuesday 3am; i used my 1 hour lunchbreak. he was like a call center agent: he was bilding rapport! and he was really good at it. what seemed to me like a mundane casual conversation will actually lead to a proposal for a break-up. superb "positive scripting" i tell you. i dont't mean that in a negative way and i'm not mad at him for the decision he chose. it's what makes him happy, how can i ever deny him that right? so i let go. it's just a shame for me because i held on too tightly to something that i knew from the start was too fragile. something that is too good to be true. this already happened once before, i took him back. now he's done it again. i told irene about it and he r reply was pretty predictable: " makulit ka kase e, dati ko pa sinasabi yan sa'yo e..." hehe. i know if i'll tell bryan about it he'll tell me the same thing, so are my other friends from my previous company. and i bet they'll only tell me one thing: that i should go out with someone else! oh well... i should've gotten pat Tirano's number before. hahahahah!

Fourth.
continuation...

i wonder how my gig-buddies are doing. Sue, JR and the rest of the pupil and sandwich addicts. it seems like i haven't got the life in 10 years! my last gig was lat July, now's november man! i got really busy with my new job and budget got really tight. i believe that's about to change. the NU rock awards is just around the corner. Dec 01! it's friday, working day but i'm going to be sick that day..haha! it's a little sad though because last year i dreamed that this year i'd watch it with JK. there's no more chance of that happening any longer, so it's a little disappointing. i should've wished it on a shooting star. sheesh. anyway, there'll probably be BEER then to keep a drunken heart sober.

p.s. my tag-board is up. please drop a line. tnx!