Just another dreamy day

just got off from work. i'm looking at myself again. thru the webcam. god i'm so pretty. hahahahahhaha! no one else could agree more.

anyway, another working day has passed. or working night? hehe whichever. nothing spectacular happened other than i looked more beautiful than i ever was. of course i'm lying. hahahaha! oh the words of a desperate.

anyhow, Bryan, my Team Manager have been inviting the Team over to the fiesta in Batangas. It would be really fun. There's just a bit of a problem though. I don't want to face my relatives. It's too complicated. If I have a choice I won't go to the Fiesta. It sounds like a waste of time. I hate issues...

i bought sandwich's five on the floor and sugarfree's sa wakas... i'll post my opinion soon at some project blog. i hope it works. hehe.

there goes REALITY

i feel oh so bad today. as if i din't see it coming. as if this was a shock. like i had no clue.

i failed my QA. (QA = the means by which our random calls are graded) i got a 100% and an 85%. the 100% was great. but the 85%? my mind and my heart won't accept it. i was torn to the point that i walked off the Allied Bank with wet eyes. i went straight ahead to Greenbelt chapel and cried my hearts out, my jacket became my hanky, and I was talking to the Invisible. Because the 85% if it was a hundred it would have saved me from failing my QA for this month. And guess what the call was---Ghost Call! "Sa'n ka pa?!" (Ghost Call = happens when a call was dropped before it was routed to an agent, it results to a beep which signals an incoming call but no one would be on the other line so agent would do the CLOSING SPIEL) My mark down was "no notes on acct." however, there was no Anipop on that Ghost Call, so how was i suppose to put a NOTE on the account?! (Anipop = customer's account information ledger) and it was NOT on NICE. (NICE = the software that records our call with a screenshot of what the agent is doing on the call) The call was only barged, in other words, she was not even aware if that call had an Anipop or not. What she did was take the phone # and pull up the account manually! there was no note. how can i put a note?! there was no ANIPOP!!! If i placed a note on a DUMMY acct because it's a Ghost Call, as per calibration a note has to be put on a dummy acct for ghost calls, how the hell would she know?!? it was BARGED! for chrissakes!! no SCREENSHOT!

i know you think i'm talking shit here because you can't understand a thing. but i'm furious. i know the QA rep was just doing her job and over-all it was my fault. i got all too "relaxed." and in this job one can't be "relaxed." pressure is high. you have to multi-task. new rules are applied in every call almost everyday no matter how awkward-sounding it might be. anyone else higher than you can barge you and terminate you in a minute. there's no room for mistakes. which is just fine because DIRECTV is business, customers have to be kept satisfied at all times despite the gruelling rules the business applies on running the business. As customer service representative, you're in the middle of it. between the company and the customer. and Sir Boyet this morning talked about our Center not doing that well in the competition out there. And that we have to do our best otherwise we might loose the account. Fuck, we only follow what they ask us to do. say what they ask us say to the customers. if the customers are unsatisfied, who wrote those SCRIPTS anyway?!? hahahahahahaha

god, i love this job.

okay, here's the resolution for my low QA score. THINK I'M BEING RECORDED IN MY EVERY CALL. i'll try to work on my mark downs. i won't be too relaxed. i won't be. promise. god, our QA even said it took me so long to drop that GHOST CALL. what?!? so she suspects i'm one of those who take GHOST CALLS for 30 minutes?!? for chrissakes, i've been tempted to do that and have been joking about that with my officemates but i DON'T DO that. in case she didn't know, i revoked my resignation because my training to the other company is scheduled earlier than the effectivity of my resignation... i was afraid i would get TERMINATED if i don't report by the 13th and the effectivity of resignation was going to be on the 19th...and i'd just prolong a GHOST CALL to RUIN my RECORDS?!? damn! i can't do something STUPID like that. I'M BETTER THAN THAT. if i do that, i might as well release calls of customers who can't seem to comprehend a very simple billing explanation. those might have saved me from being furious and my AHT. sheesh. really, i know better than doing that... ***wipe tears*** ***sniff-sniff***

Anyhow, it was "supposed" to be our 2nd anniv last night. i failed to call him at night because as usual i woke up late. i tried to call him in the morning but he was about to enroll, when he tried to text me by 10pm i was at work as always... on our lunch break, my battery was low. now i'm still waiting for a reply for my last text. he doesn't seem to care about replying so i'm ticked off by that but it's okay... life just don't go MY way all the time. now my back hurts. been here almost forever it seems to me. and i've only been listening to TELEPONO (sugarfree). again?? hahaha... Well... it soothes my mind.it talks about a person confuse of his relationship with another person. and they've always been talking over the phone and suddenly something happened that made him realize the REALITY. whatever that is. i love this song a lot. (=

My ADDICTION

no title

hey. my skin looks aweful but there's progress. slow but it's all right. progress is good. right? still it looks scary but.. fuck, i don't wanna talk about this.

anyhow, i'm tired. just got my laundry. it's been at the laundry shop for a week now.

but i'm floating. just found out that someone in our team is connected to someone. it's like some sign that someone is listening. oh you'll never understand me now. i don't understand myself eiher. i'm floating. can't take my head off it.

tommorow morning we're going to LATIAN. will rest. and enjoy. will play plau play. me so excited.

you're so...

i am currently...

browsing the net, reading posts at yahhogroup and friendster, posting non-sense stuff as well.. chatting with friends on-line.. whoever is sober and hyper.


To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order;
to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order;
to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life;
we must first set our hearts right.
--Confucius

..because i got nothing to say. lotsa friends are on-line don't have time to think of what to blog about. hehe.

a FULL day

logged off the Avaya after 9 hours of being logged in. so that's 1 hour of OverTime. Heh. equals to barely 60Php. walked off the oldest building of makati (allied bank) at about 7am and went straight ahead to a PC rental along arnaiz ave. about 9 i picked up my laundry at Streetwash.

"do you mix my laundry with other peolple's laundry?" i asked the girl at Streetwash. she shook her head reluctantly and replied "no."
"are u sure?" no reply. as if i don't work in Customer Service. Always keep the positive image of the company. uck.

anyway, i shrugged it off and went to counting my clothes, although i never really counted it when i brought it there. haha.

then i headed for home which is a 45-minute bus-ride from Evangelista. I rode a non-airconditioned bus with a hundred-year old engine, i believe. it was like riding a big rusty truck that you often see in western movies.

i was home by 10am. took a bath, healing the filthy things in my skin. ate an apple, choco-flavored oat-meal and tulip&cheese-sandwich. i was full. a li'l chitchat with my roommate. we watched A Million DOllar Baby in StarMovies while talking about everything else. I said i haven't seen that movie yet and she said "Hillary Swank's going to die." I said "really?" stupid me, not minding if that would spoil the excitement. well, that's me. always eager to know the ending first, hehe. so i and my roomate stopped talking and concentrated on the movie. after a few minutes, i was crying and my roommate was asleep. great jesus. (= unti the end of the movie i did nothing but shed tears. how silly. haha. so by 12pm it was over thank god. i closed my eyes counted until 465 and i was ZzZ.

i woke up at 6pm, the TV was on. found my roommate lying in her bed watching the tv. "hi." i greeted, then started ranting about how deeply moved i was with the film, and that i didn't stop crying from the time Hillary hit her head on a steel chair until Clint Eastwood unplugged her life source so she can finally die. having said so i went to cook my "breakfast" (as i like to call it). there wasn't much of an intelligent feedback from her, so...and i ate tulip sandwich again and choco-flavored oatmean again. without the apple. i was full. i went to shower and tried to scrub off the kinky stuff on my skin. my roommate said this allergy on my skin must have been caused by an unfresh chicken i must have eaten. the lightbulb on top of my head lighted... i DID ate a not-so-fresh chicken. it was when i bought half kilo of it at a dirty market in Libertad market. gee. however, i already noticed then that the chicken kind of had a problem due to the stinky smell and evident discoloration, and I STILL ATE IT. the taste was filthy but, I STILL ATE IT. why? to save money. gee. lesson learned. i don't even want to mention this to JK. i know what he'll say. ugh.

anyhow, i carried on. why not? right? work started all right despite my turtle-speed PC. until i insisted a bit to Irene (officemate) that The Soprano's started yesterday in the US which is March 11. She said "NO! It's today! MArch 12!" y'know me, a li'l hard on the head. i still insisted it started MArch 11, and commented a bit like "Soparanos is boring for me probably because i never get to watch the whole season, i usually watch THe West Wing.." then she slapped the On DirecTV mag with The Soprano's article on it on my table and "(ayan o, MARCH 12, nagmamagaling ka kase!)" i dont know how to translate it in English. Shocked, embarrassed, and insulted as i was i continued on with my work. spoke with the customer. didn't entertain anything else but the customers who were routed to me (tried to sound cheery). later on i tried helping others out as much as i can---floor support, as we call it. never looked at Irene neither spoke with her. they went to Lunch. i stayed on the phone until they have left the floor so i can eat lunch on my own. i didn't really plan on speaking with her again but i did uttered a few things to her like about that skimpy jacket i want to buy in PEople for PEople. that's it. then news broke, i got 85% again in my QA. fuck. but still carried on with my calls. was nice and all. i just didnt want to speak to anyone at the office. i was on my last call, i said if that was going to be a sup-cvall i would render another hour of overtime. holy christ my PC was doing the turtle-speed again. the thing that ticked me off was, i got an impatient customer on the line who was too dumb to fucking understand the sentence: "OUR SYSTEM IS CUURENLTLY UPDATING!!!!" customer hung up (thank you for calling DirecTV). i logged out from my AVAYA exactly 5:54 (DST) i lingered on my post, almost cried. as i was walking out of my post Rey (fag officemate) asked how many hours my OverTime was (though i know he knows), i replied "1." it was evident in his stare he knew i'm pissed. when he gets a little kind at me, i know he knows i'm pissed. i avoided whatever interaction with Irene. whatever.

I went straight to the Chapel in GreenBelt, knelt down and prayed. I understand what's happening. I remember I asked God to find a way to keep me gravitated on the ground each time the air starts to fill my head. He does so oh so timely and sweetly. I had a liuttle self-check one-way conversation with god as i was kneeling there. After a few minutes i felt Hunger. I went to TAPA King. ordered Longanisa with FREE coffee. (= i'm a regular in Tapa King because i'm a fan of anything cooked on a pan with oil. haha. after being bloated again, i looked for a PC rental. can't find any place nearer than where i'm at now. rate: 50/hr. the Attendant comes from the race i cursed on my last Call (on MUTE of course). anyhow. i've stayed here as far as i can type this. haha.

Skizzy went on-line. *sigh* the feeling of badly wanting to touch something you can't touch.

i have to go to SM. grocery. see ya.

i hate me!

if u'd see my body naked now u'd puke. as if it's infested by reddish wormholes. ugh! i can't look at myself in the mirror. otherwise i'd cry. where did my hot body go?!?

so later on at 1pm i'm seeing the dermatologist. i gotta get this over with once and for all. sheesh. how can i be so irresponsible. i had 2 days off for chrissakes! and what did i do? lazed around. bored myself to death. scratched my butt off until it bled. ugh. it all sounds so ugly i want to puke at myself.

i'm not working tonight for christsake. i'm not.

i hate me! i hate me! i hate me! (FITA) =)

dying

i'm bored. i belive it's obvious in the mugshots. i wore my favorite shirt today to ease down the boredom a li'l bit. i have a bit of a problem. i think i'm dying soon. i feel it. i think i have a disease. an incurable one. imu' go see a doctor soon. i'm not really scared to die. honest. i'm nothing int his world. maybe i'd be somebody in the other side. whatever is in there.

anyway, i'm goping to megamall. so i have to go. just feel like going there. hehe.

mugshots

talking to myself

hi there. how's life? have you been taking your vitamins? hrm, but by the looks of your skin i think not. and your eye bags god what is that. 10 kilos of sacks??

shhesh.

what have you been up to lately? u hooked up with anyone? good. men are evil. take my word for it. they suck you in and spit you out. who the fuck are they? just some pseudo-mascular erotic piece of shitty nature. if not for their sperm, god would have wiped 'em off this earth. *ugh*

how's work? what? "buwisit?!" gee, easy gurl. men are dumb sensitive creatures too. they need us to survive. it's not bad to show a li'l mercy sometimes. sheesh, those low lives.

anyway. tell me another story.

Beau

i wish i learned how to budget money when i was in younger. budgeting was never in my vocabulary until now. **sigh** and i don't know if spending 1 thousand pesos a day is what they call "budget!" hahahahahahhaha

anyway.

just got off the phone with my sweeeeeeetttt bitch. apparently he woke up at the wrong side of the bed again. was very sarcastic at me again. however i'm used to it. i just shrug it off. i told him that i'm going to write a MUSIC REVIEW for my favorite band PUPIL. he went on ranting how silly i would be if i'd write praises so they'd read it. i couldn't butt in. dear god. anyhow he has a point. though i guess he didn't think i already know those things. that i know what i'm doing. i told him... if Martha (his GOD) had a YAHOOGROUP, and had an album, wouldn't he write a review for it? i bet he'd even do more than a review! he'd flood the Mailing List!!! My point is, i've been a fan of ELY forever... i'm not the same naiive fan as i was 10 yrs ago now... no. i just want to speak my mind. tell 'em what i think of the album that i have been listening to NON-STOP for 2 straight months. he said i should write what's WRONG with it and not what's RIGHT with it. hmm, ain't that impartial as well? why not be one's self? why pretend to hate it when you reallt like it? why pretend you like it when it actually sucks?

it got me thinking. so i held back my plan. i don't want to act on impulse again. i better write some scrap first and do some editing. my sweeeeett bitttchh really challenges me most of the time. i like it.

today i wish i have a digicam. i bought a radiobox. it's cute although it can't pick up the station i like. if JK's here i bet he'd tell me i'm stupid for buying such thing. **boing-boing** it just takes getting used to.